Joint custody schedules range from the popular 2-2-3 to alternating weeks. Read on to see which would work best for you.
Published on July 8, 2024 In This Article In This Article"We have joint custody." Divorced and separated parents have tossed these words around for years, but there's not one single schedule for or definition of the term. The schedule can range from alternating weeks to a 2-2-3 custody schedule, which divides each week between both parents.
When selecting a custody schedule for your family, it's important to customize the schedule to meet the family's needs, particularly the needs of your children.
Custody can be physical, legal, or both. When parents share joint legal custody, they both have a say in major decisions regarding the child's life such as education, religious upbringing, and medical care. Shared physical custody means that the children spend time living in each of their homes, although it doesn't necessarily have to be an exact 50/50 split.
These six joint custody schedules provide almost equal time for the kids with both parents. You can tweak and adjust the schedules to meet your family's unique needs.
Once you choose a schedule, be consistent. Research shows consistent routines improves kids' mental health. Routines for kids reduce incidents of depression, impulsivity, and aggression.
Once you have agreed on a custody schedule, put the document into an official parenting plan. Most likely, this schedule will become part of your official custody agreement. Having an official co-parenting plan with a detailed custody schedule makes it easier for attorneys, mediators, and the judge to make sense of your goals as well as determine if your schedule is in the best interest of the children.
Consider revisiting the plan every year to make sure it continues to meet all of your needs, although keep in mind that in most jurisdictions, modification of existing child custody agreements requires a finding of a substantial change in circumstance. Above all, allow your children a voice in the planning and discussion if they're old enough.
With an alternating weeks custody schedule, the children live at one parent's house one week, then switch over to the other parent's house the next week. Many families choose to make the transition on Fridays or over the weekend, but you can choose whatever day of the week works best for you.
As with most joint physical custody schedules, this one requires that your children have fully functional bedrooms and living space in each of your homes.
Maintain separate wardrobes, toys, and favorite electronics at each place if feasible. You don't want your kids to feel like they are always traveling, dragging their favorite stuff back and forth between your homes every week.
Typically, this schedule works better for older children or children who can be away from one parent for an entire week.
Many families add a midweek evening visit to their alternating week's schedule, so the children never go a full week without seeing either parent. The sample schedule shown here has that midweek visit taking place on Tuesdays, but you can choose whatever day works best for your family.
Although a midweek visit can be nice for both the parents and the kids in this schedule, it may be more difficult to maintain as the kids get into extracurricular activities like sports, music, dance, and so on.
If your kids have extracurricular activities, you could be the person taking them to their activities and then have dinner with them during your midweek visit. The key is that you think outside the box when formulating a schedule and create as little disruption in your kids' lives as possible.
With this schedule, the children alternate residences one day a week, usually on Fridays, but they enjoy one midweek overnight with the other parent. The midweek overnight visit takes place on Tuesdays on the calendar shown here, but you can choose any weekday.
Once kids are in upper elementary school and beyond, it's important to allow them to have a voice in developing the custody schedule.
For instance, allow them to decide if they want to do an overnight visit or just have dinner with the parent. Or, you can allow them to decide which day of the week is best for the midweek overnight.
Overnight visits may be particularly challenging when infants are involved. In fact, there is some research suggesting frequent overnights are linked to attachment insecurity in infants, which could lead to adjustment problems at ages 3 and 5. Frequent overnights were not linked to adjustment problems at older ages.
With the 2-2-3 rotation custody schedule, the children reside with Parent A for two days, then with Parent B for two days, then spend a long three-day weekend with Parent A.
The next week, the routine flips and the children reside with Parent B for two days, then Parent A for two days, before spending a long three-day weekend with Parent B. This allows the parents to have alternate weekends with the children and may be useful for parents with young children who cannot go long blocks of time without seeing one or both of their parents.
This schedule also may work best for parents who live close together, for easy handoffs, and for younger children who adapt well to change while needing to see each parent frequently.
Keep in mind, though, moving to the other parent's home every few days can be disruptive for kids. To them, it might seem like it's time to leave again as soon as they settle in.
In the 3-3-4-4 rotation plan, the children spend three days with Parent A, three days with Parent B, then four days with Parent A, followed by another four days with Parent B. The advantage is that the children are always at one residence on Sundays through Tuesdays, and at the other residence on Wednesdays through Fridays.
The only day that changes from week to week is Saturdays, giving a weekend day to each parent. The longer duration at each parent's home might be a little less disruptive for kids.
Because the Saturdays that a parent has the kids change from month to month, you may want to consider using a calendar or custody app to ensure everyone knows where the kids will be and who is responsible for pickups and drop-offs at any given time.
The 2-2-5-5 custody schedule routine is similar to the 3-3-4-4 schedule, but the children reside with Parent A for two days, then Parent B for two days, followed by five days with Parent A and five days with Parent B.
Like the 3-3-4-4 day rotation, this schedule allows the children to spend Sundays and Mondays in one residence, and Tuesdays and Wednesdays at the other. The only days that fluctuate from week to week are Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
Whatever custody schedule you choose, remember to give everyone in your family time to adjust before making changes.