Losing a loved one is never easy. In the midst of grief, it can feel overwhelming to plan a funeral that properly honors their memory. Where do you even begin? This comprehensive funeral planning checklist aims to guide you through the key decisions and considerations to help make the process a bit more manageable during a difficult time.
A checklist for a funeral serves several important purposes:
Ensures you don't overlook any important details or decisions that need to be made Helps delegate responsibilities among family members Provides a roadmap during an emotionally challenging time Allows you to plan a personalized, meaningful tribute to your loved oneWhile no two funerals are exactly alike, this general checklist outlines the main components that go into a typical funeral. Let's walk through it step by step.
One of the first calls you'll need to make is to immediate family to inform them of the death. You'll also want to notify your loved one's employer, as well as close friends and extended family. Ask a few trusted people to help spread the word to reduce the number of emotionally taxing calls you need to make yourself.
Other parties to notify include:
A funeral home or crematorium to handle the deceased's body A pastor, priest or other religious officiant if you plan to have a religious service The executor of the will, if someone other than next-of-kin The deceased's doctorThe funeral home will be one of your main points of contact and will guide you through many of the decisions and details. Their services may include:
Transporting and preparing the body Providing a casket or urn Hosting the funeral service Arranging the burial or cremation Obtaining a death certificate Obituary and death notice placement Grief support servicesNot all funeral homes provide the same services, so be sure to ask for an itemized list of what's included. Also inquire about payment options, as funerals can be costly.
One of the first major decisions to make is whether your loved one will be buried or cremated. Factors to consider include:
Any wishes expressed by the deceased Religious beliefs and customs Costs (cremation is generally less expensive) Environmental impact (cremation uses fewer resources) Portability (cremated remains can be transported more easily) Permanent memorialization (a burial plot provides a physical marker and gathering place)There's no right or wrong choice, only what feels right to you and your family and best honors your loved one. Some people choose a hybrid option, with the body cremated after a traditional funeral service.
The choice between burial and cremation will determine whether you need to select a casket or urn.
For caskets, considerations include:
- Material (wood, metal, eco-friendly options)
- Appearance and design
- Personalized elements like engraving
Urns also come in a variety of materials, styles and personalization options. In addition to a primary urn, you may opt for keepsake urns or jewelry that hold a small portion of the ashes.
The funeral service is the centerpiece of the funeral, bringing loved ones together to grieve, reflect, and remember. Key decisions include:
Location - a place of worship, funeral home chapel, graveside, or elsewhere? Officiant - a religious leader or someone close to the deceased? Speakers - who will deliver a eulogy? Will others share remarks? Music - consider your loved one's favorite songs or music that is comforting Readings - poems, religious passages, or excerpts that were meaningful Visuals - a photo slideshow, memory table, or other personal touches Printed materials - bulletins, prayer cards, etc.Your funeral director can advise on the typical sequence of a funeral and help arrange the details. But the service can be tailored in any way you see fit to celebrate and honor your loved one's life.
If choosing burial, you'll need to:
- Select a cemetery
- Choose a burial plot, or other option
- Decide if you want to be present for the burial
For cremation, consider:
- If you want to inter or scatter the ashes
- Any local regulations on scattering ashes
- If you'll keep the ashes in an urn at home
Some cemeteries have scattering gardens or allow the interment of ashes in a burial plot. Get clarity on restrictions and options before deciding.
The obituary publishes key information about your loved one's life and death in the local newspaper and/or online. It generally includes:
Full name and age at death Date and place of birth Date, place and cause of death Key biographical info like education, career, military service, etc. Surviving family members and those who preceded them in death Funeral/memorial plans A special message, prayer, quote, etc.Many funeral homes offer obituary writing services, or you can write it yourself. An obituary is the final record of a person's life, so put care into capturing their essence.
Decide if you want flowers at the funeral service and what will happen to them afterward (some can be donated to nursing homes or hospitals). If you prefer charitable donations over flowers, choose a cause that was important to your loved one and include that info in the obituary/funeral notice.
Many funerals are followed by a reception where loved ones can gather in a more informal setting to support one another and continue sharing memories. Consider:
Location - at the funeral home or an outside venue? Food and drink, whether catered or a potluck If you want to display photos or have a memory book for people to write in Logistics like seating, utensils, etc.While a reception isn't required, it provides valuable fellowship time for those who cared about your loved one to comfort one another.
In the days and weeks following the funeral, there are a number of administrative matters to attend to, such as:
Obtaining certified copies of the death certificate Locating and executing the will Contacting banks, credit card companies, etc. Transferring utilities out of the deceased's name Closing social media accounts Canceling subscriptions, memberships, etc.Settling affairs can be complex depending on the deceased's financial and legal situation. Don't hesitate to consult experts like estate attorneys or financial advisors for guidance.
A funeral planning checklist helps navigate the many decisions involved in laying a loved one to rest
Key choices include burial or cremation, type of service, final disposition of remains, obituary, and reception
A funeral should reflect what's meaningful to your family and honors the deceased Don't hesitate to involve others and seek professional help as needed during a difficult timeTo help keep you organized and ensure nothing slips through the cracks, we've created a downloadable version of this checklist. Use it to assign tasks, keep track of decisions, and reduce your mental load during the funeral planning process. You don't have to go it alone - enlist trusted family and friends to help tackle the checklist together. Tap the button below to get your checklist now.
1. How much does the average funeral cost?
The median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial was $7,848 in 2021, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. Cremation is generally 15-20% less expensive.
2. How long after death does a funeral typically take place?
A viewing, wake, or visitation typically occurs within 3-5 days of death. The funeral service typically takes place within a week of the death, possibly up to 10 days later if there are extenuating circumstances.
3. Can I personalize a funeral service?
Absolutely. From the music and readings to the officiant and venue, there are many ways to craft a funeral that reflects your loved one's personality, interests, and beliefs.
4. Should children attend funerals?
Children grieve too, and attending the funeral can be a healthy part of the grief process. However, it's best to prepare the child ahead of time for what they will see and experience at the funeral. Consider their age and emotional capacity.
5. What happens if I can't afford a funeral?
Many funeral homes offer payment plans to help families manage costs. You can also reduce expenses by opting for cremation over burial, choosing a lower-cost casket, or having a graveside service instead of a large funeral. Some local and state agencies also offer assistance programs.
6. What is a green funeral?
A green or natural funeral aims to minimize the environmental impact of burial. This may include using a biodegradable casket or shroud, forgoing embalming chemicals, and choosing a natural burial ground without a vault or headstone. More funeral homes are beginning to offer eco-friendly options.
7. How long do I have to make decisions?
Some decisions, like what to do with the deceased's body, need to be made within a few days. But other decisions about the funeral service details can usually wait a bit. A funeral home can help store the body while you take a little time to consider your options and make thoughtful choices.
8. What if my loved one didn't express any funeral wishes?
In the absence of explicit wishes, think about what would have been meaningful to your loved one and discuss options with those closest to them. Ultimately, trust your instincts to plan a loving tribute.
*9. How can I honor my loved one's memory after the funeral? *
There are many beautiful ways to keep their memory alive. Light a memorial candle on special occasions, donate to a cause they cared about, keep a photo in a special place, engage in an activity you used to do together. Grief has no timeline - do what comforts you.
10. Where can I turn for grief support?
Many funeral homes offer aftercare grief support services. Look for grief support groups in your area, either in-person or online, to connect with others who understand. Remember, it's a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek support.
